


You Feel It

by lildemonlili



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Some anon on cc dared send me jeongmi angst and I turned it soft come at me bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 17:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16309607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lildemonlili/pseuds/lildemonlili
Summary: Three years of back and forth. Of liking her and not liking her and honestly maybe Jeongyeon should just get on with her life. After all, she's almost out of college and she's supposed to be making grown up decisions. Which is a lot easier said than done.





	You Feel It

It gets tiring after a few years- going back and forth. The nights where the thought of her smile makes Jeongyeon stay up, and wonder if she would say yes if Jeongyeon asks her to marry her. Then remember that she’s supposed to ask her out first. 

 

Then remember that they haven’t talked properly for months. 

 

And then when they finally do start to talk again it’s all different than it used to be and Jeongyeon can’t help but think that maybe she just doesn’t have those feelings anymore. After all, college is a weird time and Mina was never actually hers. They’re just friends. 

And sure, time passes, and it’s polite and there’s nothing really there anymore. But even so, Jeongyeon can't deny the way her stomach tugs at the fact that she's three weeks from exams and soon she'll be done with college and still, she won't have done anything. Which makes no sense at all, because she's over Mina. Right? 

She's over her.

Right, that's right. She's over Mina, has been over her for a while. It's just hard. There's a lot of water under the whatever, and yet the river is dry. Because honestly there's no water under anything. There is no bridge. They've never been anything.

There were times yes, when Jeongyeon thought - where she suspected - but still she couldn't figure out how to say it, how to ask. Was never brave enough. And seemingly still isn't brave enough.

One day is just swallowed by the next, and Jeongyeon makes excuses. That the winter seems to drag out forever and that the studies take all her time. That four years of tippy-toeing around the subject would just surmount to an 'it wasn't meant to be'. But she can’t deny that her three weeks are almost up. That her entire life is about these exams. 

Who cares about things dating anyway. It's not like Jeongyeon isn't ever gonna find anyone, it just not going to be Mina.   
And there's that turn of her stomach again as she needs that at all.

But seeing as Jeongyeon has been accurately labeled as a coward by both Momo and Jihyo for three years of sighing about Mina and not doing anything, there's not much else to do than just dive into the books and try to forget about her.

It's just really freaking hard to do when she's sitting so close. Like okay, so a public library is public but does she have to be so close? Sitting there just a few rows away like she hasn't seen Jeongyeon at all?

  
Maybe she really hasn’t.

 

It's been a few weeks since they even acknowledged each other. Well two weeks two days and two hours to be exact. ish. Not that Jeongyeon keeps count. But they have by all means and purposes been friends for years, even if they've lost touch a few times - partly Jeongyeon's fault.

Still it doesn't make sense that she's just sitting there as if she doesn't know Jeongyeon is there.   
But then again it doesn't make sense that Jeongyeon is sitting here, staring at the girl she's gotten over, waiting for her to notice. Waiting for her to move.

 

But what kind of an idiot looks down at her notes the second Mina moves her gaze just a fraction of an inch in her direction? Jeongyeon of course. And it's that same idiot who's cursing at herself for doing so, at the way her heart races familiarly.

But Mina doesn't move. At least not towards Jeongyeon.    
But she does move. That much Jeongyeon realizes when she finally looks up. Because Mina's seat is empty, though there's still a book at the desk.

Every time Jeongyeon looks up, her eyes fall on the book. Every time. And about half an hour later Jeongyeon considers - just for a moment - taking the book, texting Mina that she forgot it, and has to stop her mind from stretching the limits of her imagination.

  
She's over her.

 

But if she's over her then why does she keep looking at the book? Why does her stomach turn at the thoughts she's trying so hard not to elaborate on? And why the hell are her feet currently carrying her away from her seat in the window towards the book?

It's old, the fabric-like cover a faded green and the picture on the cover stained. The spine is halfway off, and Jeongyeon lets her fingers trace over the lettering on the front. It's not fact, it's fiction. Nothing of relevance to Mina's major.

"Jeongyeon?"   
Jeongyeon snaps around, but the force of it makes her swat the book with her hand, and it falls to the floor, landing face down with a thump on the stone floor.   
"Mina- wh-"   
"I forgot my book." Mina says timidly, bending to pick it up.

"I-I figured it might be yours, that's why- I mean you left it behind." Jeongyeon tries, without really knowing why she's attempting to explain her way out of whatever situation this was.   
"Oh, yeah I borrowed it from my brother. In between all the physics you know."

"Yeah, I get it. I mean I have no clue when I'd find time to do anything but exams at the moment but I'm glad you have a little free time." Jeongyeon rambles. Her heart still beats too fast and it's not fair because it's been like this for the majority of three years.

And she just wants it to stop. Or to never stop.

But seeing as she's a complete coward, the latter isn't going to happen. Because even if she does possibly consider the idea that maybe she wasn't one hundred percent over Mina, it doesn’t change how Mina feels.

And okay, maybe Jeongyeon hadn't ever asked about those particular feelings but it was quite obvious wasn't it?   
  
"Jeongyeon?"   
  
Jeongyeon snaps back to reality. Looks at Mina with a frown.

"What? Did you say something?"   
"I'm- it's nothing I'm sorry." Mina brushes it off quickly, stuffing the old book into her bag, sending Jeongyeon a smile that doesn't quite reach the eyes.   
"No, it's- what did you say? I just- I got lost in my own head." Jeongyeon apologizes.

"I was just..." Mina trails off, then digs back into the bag for her book and holds it tightly in both hands. "I was saying that it's a shame you're so busy because you're graduating soon and-"

"-and?"   
Jeongyeon doesn't really know what to expect. But there's a tiny ember in her heart and Mina is completely in charge of it, somehow.

  
Definitely not over her.

 

"No it's nothing," Mina shakes her head, her knuckles white around the book "you're busy with your exams, I don't-"   
"Mina." Jeongyeon says. Maybe a little too loud because one of the other students sends her a stink-eye. Jeongyeon grumbles under her breath.

 

"Come." Jeongyeon mutters when the student keeps staring. Jeongyeon makes a personal note of that particular boy. For reasons.

Almost in disbelief of herself, Jeongyeon touches Mina's shoulder, leading her away from the study section of the library, to the section full of old maps and town records - rarely used. Stops and withdraws her hand.

It's immediately awkward. What the hell did Jeongyeon drag her back here for anyway? What was she trying to say?   
"What are we doing here?" Mina asks.   
And Jeongyeon knows she doesn't mean to rub it in but it's still a big fat line under the half-ass of this plan.

"I'm... not really- wait what were you saying before?"   
Mina's cheeks tinge slightly, and she fiddles with the spine of the book. "It's nothing, I just didn't want to bother you if-"   
"Mina." Jeongyeon interrupts her.   
"We've been here before." Mina smiles timidly.

"But now I remember where I was going." Jeongyeon says, wondering if she can articulate what she wants to say in a less desperate sounding way.   
"And?" Mina asks just as Jeongyeon's courage threatens to falter.

"You don't ever have to worry about being a bother. You're-" Jeongyeon clears her throat and focuses on the title of a book behind Mina's right ear. 'Fifteen places in Southern Europe to see before you die'. Then looks back at Mina.

  
"You're always worth my time."

 

Mina looks for a moment like she's trying to figure out where the hidden camera is. Then for a moment like it wasn't a big deal at all. But then - and Jeongyeon honestly, to this day, has no clue how it ended up that way - the book is once more on the floor. Face up.

 

And Mina's lips are on hers.

 

There's not a moral to the story, Jeongyeon finds. It's not a case of better late than never.    
It's just a girl who leaves a book, in the hopes that another girl will pick it up. And a girl who finally says the words, the other one needs to hear.

It's not about fate.    
It's just the incidental timing of the right words, the right feelings and the right actions in the right sequence.    
Statistics and stochastic.   
  
Learning how to feel and forgetting how to spell.

  
  



End file.
